Are you Disappointed with God?

Philip Yancey is one of my favorite Christian authors. He is an excellent writer and is not afraid to deal with very difficult topics. His book, “Disappointment with God,” begins with these tragic stories in chapter 1 (p11-12).

Ever since my book “Where Is God When It Hurts?” was published, I have received letters from people disappointed with God.

A young mother wrote that her joy had turned to bitterness and grief when she delivered a daughter with spina bifada, a birth defect that leaves the spinal cord exposed. In page after page of tiny spidery script she recounted how medical bills had soaked up the family savings and how her marriage had cracked apart as her husband came to resent all the time she devoted to their sick child. As her life crumbled around her, she was beginning to doubt what she had once believed about a loving God.. Did I have any advice?

A homosexual spilled out his story gradually, in a succession of letters. For more than a decade he had sought a “cure” for his sexual orientation, trying charismatic healing services, Christian support groups, and chemical treatment. …Nothing worked. Finally he surrendered to a life of gay promiscuity. He still writes me occasionally. He insists that he wants to follow God but feels disqualified because of his peculiar curse.

A young woman wrote, with some embarrassment, about her ongoing depression. She has no reason to be depressed, she said. She is healthy, earns a good salary, and has a stable family background. Yet most days when she wakes up she cannot think of a single reason to go on living. She no longer cares about life or God, and when she prays, she wonders if anyone is really listening.

These and other letters I have received over the years all lead up to the same basic question, phrased in different ways. It goes something like this: “Your book is about physical pain. But what about pain like mine? Where is God when I hurt emotionally? What does the Bible say about that?” I answer the letters as best I can, sadly conscious of the inadequacy of words on paper. Can a word, any word, ever heal a wound? And I must confess that after reading these anguished accounts I ask the very same questions. Where is God in our emotional pain? Why does he so often disappoint us?

Later in the book, Yancey shares this encouraging story about Doug who experienced many difficulties (p213).

Douglas was a sincere devout Christian whose wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. The breast was removed, but a couple years later the cancer was found in her lungs. So she had to go through the agony of chemotherapy. One night in the middle of all this, he was driving with his wife and 12-year-old daughter when a drunk driver swerved and struck them head-on. His wife was unhurt, his daughter had minor injuries, but Douglas himself received a massive blow to the head. He would have sudden headaches, dizzy spells, couldn’t work a full day, could become disoriented and forgetful, and developed double vision with one eye which refused to focus.

When Yancey met with Douglas to interview him about his disappointments with God, Douglas told him: “To tell you the truth, Philip, I didn’t feel any disappointment with God… We tend to think, ‘Life should be fair because God is fair.’ And if I confuse God with the physical reality of life – by expecting constant good health, for example – then I set myself up for a crashing disappointment.”

Yancey writes: Douglas’s answers reminded me of a statement by Dr. Paul Brand. To the question “Where is God when it hurts?,” Dr. Brand replied, “He is in you, the one hurting, not in it, the thing that hurts.”

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This Sunday, September 7, we will begin a new series, “Tackling the Tough Stuff!”, with the troubling topic of “Disappointment!” Please invite someone to join you in the building or online for the Live broadcast on either Facebook (Honolulu AG) or our YouTube channel (Honolulu Assembly of God). We Livestream every Sunday to both locations and would love to have you join us! (This Saturday is “Drive-Thru Prayer” outreach in the parking lot from 11am-1pm.)

Aloha ke Akua!